You're a genius, Tony
by saucymango
Summary: Tony Stark, 11 year old billionaire (galleonaire?) genius, is set on impressing everyone at Hogwarts. Unfortunately, his muggleborn status paired with his odd sorting into Slytherin (the home of every notorious douchebag ever), makes that difficult for everyone involved.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

Tony pushed his luggage in front of him, hurrying to allow his short paces to keep up with the long ones of his Godfather. Staying in stride with the large man would be difficult for any eleven-year-old, and he didn't have any lack of baggage. Eventually he reached the edge of the platform, and started to pull up his things. Obie looked like he wanted to help, but he knew how Tony could get. He had an astonishing amount of pride for such a young kid, but then again, he was a Stark, and Starks were made of iron. Soon Tony was standing on the train, precariously clutching all of his belongings as he stared at Obie. The extra height of the train allowed him to see the man face to face before he threw his arms out for a hug, dropping his bags.

"Thanks for coming Obie," he huffed before pulling back and returning to his straight posture. He picked up his luggage and turned to go, not giving the man any space to make the exchange more personal than it already was, and shuffled down the train.

Eventually, Tony managed to find a mostly empty compartment. The only other passenger looked to be around his age, with short brown hair and a book in his lap. Tony _did_ ask if he could join him, but an answer wasn't really necessary considering the fact that he was already putting his belongings overhead. Besides, the kid probably wouldn't have answered anyway if the way he was stammering was anything to go by. Tony plopped down next to him.

"I'm Tony Stark." He declared as he angled to face the other boy, who tried to lean away, but found himself already against the window.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I already, know." The boy stammered back. "I mean, uh, I'm Bruce." The boy looked up hopefully, closing his book.

It's not like Tony wasn't used to people knowing who he was, but it was always a little strange when it was coming from people his age. At any rate, this guy seemed nice, and a little nervous, so he decided not to hold it against him.

The boy started to stammer again, he looked like he didn't know what to say, but eventually "You're sitting really close to me," fell out of his mouth. Tony had always had personal space issues. He liked sitting close to other people and a lot of times he forgot others didn't share the same sentiment.

"Oh, sorry," Tony said, brushing off any embarrassment that might have been there, "I'll move."

He moved to the bench on the other side of the compartment and lay down, somehow managing to take up the whole thing. Bruce stared at him.

"Is it true that you built a circuit board when you were four?"

Tony didn't really like talking about that, considering it was one of the first things anyone ever brought up when talking to him, but Bruce hadn't stammered when he said that and he didn't want to make him nervous again.

"Yeah. It's not really good for anything, but I still have it." He'd answered this question so many times that at this point it was just second nature, but then he remembered that Bruce wasn't a reporter. "Actually wait, that's bullshit. I threw it out when I was six, I just tell reporters I still have it because they think it's cute."

Bruce smiled at that, and looked like he was starting to relax. Setting his book next to him he looked out the window.

"Where's your dad?" Bruce questioned, looking around the platform.

"Uh, he's, I'm not really sure. Chicago I think. He didn't really have time to come see me off. Ya know, busy running a company. Obie brought me" Bruce looked sad and opened his mouth to say something, but luckily the trains exit from the station cut him off before he could start. Both boys looked out the window to the disappearing station before an awkward silence fell over the room.

"What's your book about?" Tony asked, not because he was curious, just because he hated the quiet.

"Oh, uh, it's called A History of Magic. Neither of my parents were wizards, so I didn't know much about it. I bought this book first thing after I got my letter." Bruce looked at Tony, who was still lounging across from him. "Uh, are your folks, ya know, magic?" Tony looked up.

"Not that I know of. They're both, what's it called, muggles?" Tony sat up a little to see Bruce nod before continuing. "I was worried Pep and I'd be the only ones. That book said there aren't that many muggleborns." Bruce nodded again, that seemed to be his fallback response. Tony figured the best thing to do was to keep talking. "You read a lot. Are you gunning for Ravenclaw?"

"I guess, I can't really see myself anywhere else." Bruce mumbled back before the door to the compartment burst open.

"_There_ you are!" yelled a short red headed girl as she pushed her luggage overhead and moved to sit on Tony's legs. "I've been looking all over for you. I thought you'd missed the train. Rhodey would've been ecstatic." The girl said quickly before looking at Tony expectantly.

Tony didn't waste a second before responding, "Bruce, this is Pepper, she's my friend and a muggleborn like us. Pep, this is Bruce." Tony motioned across the compartment as he spoke. "He's shy, don't make any sudden movements. I'm not sure if he bites yet though." This made Bruce turn a light shade of red which Tony found entertaining because he hadn't even said anything particularly embarrassing, yet.

"I don't bite," Bruce murmured, reaching for his book. Pepper stared at him.

"Tony hasn't been picking on you has he?" She cast an accusatory glare at Tony, who met it with a smug grin and a shrug of shoulders.

"No, actually, he's been really nice." Bruce set his book down in his lap, unopened.

Pepper continued to scowl at Tony before she finally relented, sighing, "It'd better stay that way," as she leaned back into her seat. She then turned her attention to Bruce. "You're reading A History of Magic? I read that right after I got my letter. Tony skimmed it and claims he read it, but-"

Tony shot in before she could finish, bellowing, "I know the important stuff Pepper! It's not like it was necessary to read the whole thing. It's not my fault that _I_ focused on spell casting."

Pepper glanced over and continued speaking calmly, Bruce got the feeling this happened a lot.

"Actually, it _is_ your fault you focused on spell casting. Besides, we were specifically told not to attempt magic until we were at school."

Tony smirked and raised his eyebrows before continuing, "Since when have I ever followed rules? Besides, in A History of Magic, which I read, it says that they don't monitor our magic use until after our first year because we can't control it, so I figured, free pass. Wanna see the results?" His voice hushed a little as he pulled out his wand and sat up. He took Pepper and Bruce's stares as a yes, and circled his wand tip mutturing, "Lumos." The end of the wand lit up a bluish white, and Tony allowed himself a moment of pride before muttering "Nox," to extinguish the glow. After a moment if silence, Pepper opened her mouth to say something, but Tony liked the sound of his own voice much better, so he kept talking. "I used it as a flashlight this summer when I worked on car engines. Super useful."

At that moment there was a knock and the door flew open, revealing a plump lady with a cart of treats.

"Anything from the trolley dears?" She barked, motioning to the foreign sweets covering the pushcart. The muggleborns stared until Tony finally broke the silence.

"3 of everything." He declared, ignoring Pepper's disapproving stares to pull out a bag of coins and walk over to the witch. The transaction went smoothly, because he was Tony Stark and the first thing he'd mastered was the new monetary system, and soon each person in the trolley was holding a few odd food packages and a nervous expression.

"I'll go first." Tony cautioned, picking up a small golden package claiming it held a chocolate frog, and beckoning for everyone else to follow suit. Peppers moved first, eliciting a scream from the girl, which made Bruce and Tony jump up as well. Soon, all three frogs were jumping around the compartment, and Pepper was hiding behind Bruce in a corner.

"Kill it Tony! Do you know a spell to kill it!" Pepper yelled, holding onto the back of Bruce's shirt. Bruce awkwardly stood there, unsure how to respond.

"Of course I know a spell to kill it." Tony bragged. "I'm Tony Stark. He pulled out his wand, disregarding the fact that no, he didn't know a spell to kill it, and thought back through A Standard Book of Spells. Maybe the severing spell?

Turning around to face Peppers frog, which was cowering up in a corner as far from people as possible, he flicked his wand and yelled, "diffindo!"

Except the thing was, he'd never used this spell before. He hadn't counted on _recoil_, his aim was off. Luckily, it was off to the left, so it didn't hit any people. The contents of Tony's bag however, weren't as lucky. They spilled onto the floor, some cut through, some untouched. It seemed as though the bag itself had taken the grunt of the damage. At that moment, there was a knock on the door before it was opened, and a tall lady with short black hair and a stern expression opened the door. At the sight of the mess, her expression only became more stern. A chocolate frog hopped out the door.

"What happened in here?" She demanded. Tony jumped in to answer before Bruce or Pepper could screw it up.

Putting on his innocent face he whined, "We were scared when the chocolate frogs jumped out, and I was looking for something to round them up with in my bag, but I accidentally tore it!" He changed his face to look frustrated. "Now my stuff is everywhere!"

The lady didn't look convinced, but she went with it anway, walking over to his bag and muttering something before the fabric mended itself.

"I'd suggest you three get changed, we'll be there soon, and don't worry about the frogs. The magic wears off after a few minutes." She turned around and left, the three children breathed a sigh of relief.

Tony began to round up all his clothing and put it in his bag, leaving the robes out to change into. Bruce and Pepper began looking through their bags for theirs, producing the changes of clothes almost immediately. How come everyone but him was so organized?

"What are we supposed to wear underneath?" Bruce asked nervously, answered by blank stares.

"Well, I would guess the dress clothes they made us get, but I don't really know." Tony responded slowly. Pepper nodded.

"Worst case scenario, we're wrong." She piped. "Tony, turn around, I'm going to change."

Tony turned around, and stayed around, because he was a _gentleman._ Going through his bag, he pulled out the collared shirt and tie and quickly changed, twisting a complicated knot into the fabric around his neck for the finishing touch. Obie had taught him how to tie it when he was four, before his first interview.

"Pep, can I turn around yet? Tony asked, still facing the side.

"Yeah," she responded. "We're just trying to tie Bruce's tie.

Tony turned around to a pitiful sight. Bruce and Pepper were struggling with the incorrectly tied piece of cloth around Bruce's neck.

"Pepper that's a slipknot, you're going to kill him. Here, come here." He motioned for Bruce to come over, but Pep was still holding his tie so he couldn't move. Tony cut the boy some slack and walked over. Taking the tie from Peppers hands, he turned Bruce to face him.

"Here, you want this side to be about this long when you start." He stated, adjusting the tie around his neck. "Do you know the story of the rabbit and the fox?" Bruce shook his head. Tony started. "The fox," Tony held up the long side, "Chases the rabbit around the tree twice," He wrapped the fabric around in two spirals. "But then the rabbit," he held up the fabric again, "went to hide in the brush." He moved the fabric back. "Then, he bound away into his rabbit hole, where he was safe from the fox, who was too big to fit inside." Tony pulled the end in through itself, and dressed the knot into a perfect triangle, pulling it up flush with Bruce's collar.

"Thanks." Bruce said, fiddling with the loop around his neck and pulling on his robe to match Tony and Pepper. Pepper came over and whispered something in his ear. Bruce laughed. Tony rolled his eyes and began to pick up his things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Tony stepped off the train, followed immediately by Pepper and Bruce. From the left, he could hear the shouts calling first years over, and walked to join the crowd which had emerged around the large dark-skinned man in the middle.

"My name is Heimdall." He announced, voice booming above the chatter. "I'm the Hogwarts groundskeeper, and I will be escorting you to the castle. Please follow me." With that, he turned and walked towards a nearby body of water, shadowed by the large group of children. Soon they reached a swarm of rickety boats and were informed to get inside. Tony moved fast, securing a boat so that he Pep and Bruce could ride together, and they were eventually joined by a quiet boy with blond hair. After sitting for a minute, Tony was once again tired of the quiet.

Reaching out his arm to indicate a handshake, he announced, "Hey, I'm Tony." His hand was met in a surprisingly firm shake in return as the boy informed him that he was named Clint Barton, and that it was nice to meet him. Tony nodded back.

"So, are either of your parents muggles?" Tony inquired. Clint looked confused, but answered anyway.

"No, but I think there were some muggles on my mom's side of the family. Why?"

"We're all muggleborns." Tony replied matter-of-factly. "Any advice?"

"You're _all_ muggleborns?" Clint looked incredulous, then concerned. "I wouldn't go around broadcasting that, some people aren't very accepting. I don't care but just, watch out for the Slytherins I guess, a lot of them get really into all that blood status stuff. Muggleborns can't even be accepted into that house, something about the founder being a biased jerk." Tony, Pepper, and Bruce exchanged glances, but forgot their worry as the boats began to move.

"No way, we're not even rowing!" Tony yelled, receiving a few exasperated looks from boats around him. Clinted nudged his side.

"Magic, remember?" He whispered.

Tony brushed off his ignorance and looked around as the castle came into sight, and immediately stared. It was incredible, a wonderful, gigantic structure with towers jutting up around it. Someday he was going to build a tower, a big one. The other first years seemed to share his awe, he could hear them whispering to each other and pointing to the rapidly approaching shore.

"How come only the first years enter this way?" Tony whispered to Clint. "Doesn't that seem a little counterproductive?"

"I think they just want to keep us separate until the sorting. Maybe fill us in on some things." Clint whispered back before raising his voice a little. "Does it matter? Look at the castle!"

Tony looked back at the castle until they reached the shore, and then poured out of his boat with the rest of the children to follow Heimdall inside. They were soon arranged into an organized clump in front of a large set of double doors as Heimdall's huge voice rang out.

"In a moment, you will be let inside the great hall. Once inside, you will behave yourselves. This is your warning, I will not deal with troublemakers, any who make mischief here will answer directly to me, or to Headmaster Fury, and believe me, you don't want that. Now with that said, good luck at the sorting! I wish you all well!" He beamed as the large doors opened, revealing an expansive room set out beneath the sky. It was a comfortable temperature, and based on the layout of the castle, Tony was betting they weren't really outside. It was probably just magic, but he was in awe nonetheless. Following the clump down the center of the room, Tony looked around. He saw four tables, each with colored settings. One had red, one had yellow, one blue, and one green. Soon he came to a stop with the rest of the young wizards, and then the lady who had spoken to them in the train stood to address them.

"Hello, my name is Mrs. Hill and I would like to offer a formal welcome to the first years who are here for the sorting. The ceremony will be fairly simple," she stated as she got up and grabbed a ragged old hat and set it on a stool. "You will simply wait for your name to be called, and when it is, you will take a seat here, and put on the hat. Any questions?"

Any questions? How about all of them?

"Good. In that case, I'll let the hat start us out." Mrs. Hill gestured to the hat and walked away. What was the hat supposed to do, it was a hat.

Oh my God it was singing.

Well I am just a ragged hat

I don't look worth your time

But I can tell by where you're at

Where you'll be at your prime

And I can help to get you there

I know where you belong

If I surprise you, don't despair

For I am never wrong

If bravery lies in your heart

And courage in your breast

To Gryffindor will you depart

And wear the lion's crest

Though if your mind is better set

For knowledge that it seeks

Then Ravenclaw is what you'll get

And where you'll spend your weeks

And then for the more cunning lot

Ambition in their veins

To Slytherin you will be brought

And there you'll make your gains

And last but not least Hugglepuff

For those fair, just, and kind

And those four houses are enough

To leave no one behind

So try me on and let me see

What's in your little head

Remember you can't lie to me

Be careful where you tread

As soon as the hat had finished the song it slumped back into its form on the stool and Mrs. Hill walked up again, this time holding a long piece of parchment.

"When I read your name, please come try on the hat, and then sit at the correct table." She thundered. "Bruce Banner."

Bruce looked over at Tony nervously when his name was called, and Tony pushed him forwards.

"It's alright." He whispered. "Going first just means you get it out of the way quick. Like a band-aid." Bruce gave a small smile and walked up to sit on the stool, and slowly put the hat on his head.

After a few seconds of tense silence, the hat yelled out "RAVENCLAW!" for all to hear, startling Bruce off of the stool and over to the thunderous applause of the blue table.

"Clint Barton" Mrs. Hill yelled out.

Tony turned to Clint. "How come you guys get to go first, no fair." He complained.

"Not our fault our last names start with B." the boy replied before walking up himself.

The hat took longer with him, a minute, at least. Eventually though it seemed to make up its mind. (Mind? Hats couldn't have minds. Could they?)

"HUFFLEPUFF!" rang out through the hall, and Clint ran over to the boisterous yellow table, sitting down at an empty place setting. Soon, the ceremony took on a rhythm.

"Stewart Fairchild"

_Looks like an idiot, stupid haircut._

"GRYFFINDOR"

Applause from red table.

"Jane Foster"

_She was pretty._

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Brandon Galvin"

_Looked like a nice enough guy._

"RAVENCLAW!"

He joined Bruce and Jane at the blue table and Tony crossed his fingers. Maybe he'd be there soon.

"Darcy Lewis"

_She was the one who'd been talking to Jane._

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

_Hufflepuff sure was enthusiastic._

"Dessie McCoy"

_She had a nice face, but it was a little too busy sneering._

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Loki Odinson"

_He looked shy, maybe he'd be a Ravenclaw like Bruce._

"SLYTHERIN!"

_That was fast._

"Thor Odinson"

_Was it possible for siblings to look that different?_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

_Wow, never saw_ that_ one coming._

"Virginia Potts"

Pepper walked past him, he gave her arm a squeeze.

"Good luck Pep." He whispered, she smiled at him.

"You too." She whispered back, meeting his eye, then she turned to go.

The sorting hat didn't take very long to decide before yelling out, "RAVENCLAW!"

_Of course, Ravenclaw._

"Natasha Romanov"

_Russian?_

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Tony Stark"

_Shit._

He walked up to the stool, spine straight. He knew how to act under pressure. Seamlessly, he sat down and put the hat on his head. He smirked. People liked it when he smirked.

"You've certainly got a lot going on in here." The hat's voice rang out in his head. He raised his eyebrows.

_Too much, some would say_, he thought. That's how the hat worked, right? If he thought, it could hear him?

"Oh, but I don't think so. You certainly are smart enough to join your friends over in Ravenclaw." The hat whispered. Tony smiled.

_Tell me something I don't know._

"Of course you already know Slytherin is out what with you being a muggleborn and all." Tony shrugged. "So how about this?

"SLYTHERIN!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Wait, Slytherin? Tony looked around confused to find Bruce and Pepper looking at him with odd expressions on their faces. He shrugged and smirked, and walked over to the applause at the green table to sit across from the other first years. The red headed Russian chick was across from him, and the kid with the gigantic brother was sitting catty-corner. He decided talking would be more interesting than the rest of the sorting.

"I'm Tony Stark," he offered, grinning. The red headed girl responded quickly.

"I'm Natasha, and this is Loki. Welcome to Slytherin." She was looking him over as she said it, appraising him, and he suddenly didn't know what to say. He was used to adults looking at him like that, but this was different. He shouldn't ask about muggleborns now, he didn't want to draw attention to it. Hadn't Clint specifically warned him that Slytherins were weird about this sort of thing? He'd ask Clint later. Clint was cool.

"Slytherin, I didn't see that one coming. I was sort of expecting Ravenclaw." He said with a grin. He could make words flow even when he was nervous. His usual problem then was not being able to shut up, so he left it at that, afraid that if he elaborated he'd never stop. Natasha kept looking at him.

"Guess you're not as much of a genius as you thought." She smirked, Tony smirked back.

"Actually, I am. A genius. It's sort of common knowledge. Most people have heard of me, I'm sort of a big deal. For some reason, I don't get the feeling things are the same with you." He was sitting up straight now, back in billionaire 'don't embarrass your father' mode.

"I think I would have heard of you if you were that big of a deal," She said calmly. "but let's check with a couple others, shall we?" She smirked, Tony smirked, he was starting to see a pattern here.

"Loki, have you ever heard of Tony Stark?" Loki looked up, frowning.

"I think I'd like to be left out of this." His words were smooth, and his voice much stronger than he expected from the small shy kid. "Ask someone else."

To Tony's dismay, Natasha did turn to ask someone else, namely, a large kid with black hair sitting next to her.

"Excuse me?" she droned, voice sweet, "Have you ever heard of Tony Stark?"

The boy furrowed his brows and pursed his lips.

"No, but give me a second." He rushed, and then he turned around and addressed everyone in the general area. "Have any of you heard of Tony Stark?"

"You mean the kid who was just sorted?" a younger girl questioned.

"Isn't Stark some muggle company? The weapons one? My parents had a problem with them a while back because they were texting weapons near the place where we were testing experimental products. We had to do memory spells on about fifty grunt workers."

Tony frowned.

"Wait, they're muggles? Are you sure?" Nat frowned and gave Tony a scrutinizing look. "That can't be right, this is Tony Stark right here. He's a Slytherin."

Suddenly, everyone started speaking at once.

"He can't be the Stark kid, the Starks are muggles."

"He looks like the Stark kid! And they said his name during the sorting!"

"No way, muggleborns can't even _be_ in Slytherin, can they?"

"Why would I know? Ask him!"

"Hey kid."

"Stark."

"Tony?"

Tony stayed calm.

"Oh, so you finally deigned to speak to me?" He was aiming for nonchalant, but his words came out sounding bitter. He was met by cold faces. The tall boy next to Natasha was the one to finally ask the question.

"Are you a muggleborn?"

Tony looked around at his fellow Slytherins. Some of them looked worried, some nervous or upset, but none of them looked uninterested. He took a deep breath and responded calmly.

"As a matter of fact, I am." He looked around, meeting as many eyes as he could. "Is that a problem?"

The boy next to Natasha sneered at him.

"As a matter of fact, it is."

Tony chanced a look at Natasha. She looked almost guilty. Almost. Loki was carefully examining the table in front of him.

"Alright then," Tony quipped, "I'll stop gracing you with my presence." Tony then stood up and left the table, walking smoothly across the awkwardly long room to the table adorned in blue. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he walked, but whatever. He could handle that. He was Tony Stark. He found the empty seat next to the Jane girl and across from Pepper and sat down. It was oddly quiet around him.

"What?" Tony asked. "Something wrong?" The people around him were either whispering to each other or shifting uncomfortably. The teachers at the front table were whispering urgently as well. He smiled. "Come on guys, blue and green are analogous colors." Tony stated, motioning to their mismatching robes. "Next to each other on the color wheel, next to each other at the table." To Tony's surprise, Bruce was the one to let out a laugh. Pepper and Jane followed suit, helping to relieve some of the immediate tension before an older girl with straight black hair walked up and leant down to put her face near Tony's.

"Look, I don't want to be rude or anything, but students usually sit with the members of their own houses." she squeaked, her face worried. Tony felt bad for her, but he was here to prove a point, and he was going to do it.

"Okay." He chimed, turning back to face Bruce, who had an expression on his face that was somewhere between terror and entertainment. Tony smiled, trying to sway him to the side of entertainment. "So Bruce, how's Ravenclaw treating you? I'm a Slytherin." He pulled on his tie, displaying its green color and opened his eyes wide in mock horror. "It's awful, everyone there's a jerk."

"Uh, Ravenclaw's fine." Bruce laughed nervously. The older girl tapped Tony's shoulder again and he turned around to look up at her.

"Yes?" He tried to sound as innocent as possible.

"The Slytherins were giving you trouble?" She asked. Tony nodded. The girl stood for a minute, thinking before she continued. "If anyone asks, I tried to talk you into leaving, okay?" Tony nodded again, smiling this time. The girl smiled back. "I'm Jessica by the way, Ravenclaw prefect. Welcome to our table." She grinned and went to sit a few seats away with the older students. When she sat, Tony turned around to face Pepper and smiled.

"Hey Pep! Your house adopted me!" Tony beamed. Pepper shook her head and sighed.

"Tony, you can't just ignore the sorting." She shot, "You should be over there getting to know your fellow house members." She sounded stern, but she couldn't quite hide the amused smile on her face as she said it.

Tony opened his mouth to inform her that he wasn't _ignoring_ the sorting. I mean, come on, what Ravenclaw would have the guts to walk over to another table; He stopped when he saw the smile disappear from Peppers face though.

"Pep, is something wr-" Tony started, but was cut short by the pull of his collar around his neck as he was dragged up from his spot at the table and turned to face the black haired boy who had been next to Natasha. Tony's eyes flicked to the badge on his robes, a prefect badge just like Jessica's.

"Get back to our table." The boy sneered. "Now." Tony wasn't sure he liked the hierarchy here.

"Keep abusing your power Robespierre," Tony quipped, "and someone might break your jaw."

The effect of his words was instant. After a moment, the boy's expression changed from one of shocked silence to one of anger, and Tony had to spend all of his energy on not averting his eyes as the boy spoke again.

"Despite your, _status,_" the words were coming through his teeth, losing their sharpness. "You're a Slytherin. So I'd suggest you come back before you regret embarrassing us any more than you already have, and trust me, you'll regret it."

This method wasn't working, maybe he should try a knew one. Tony changed his tone from threatening to exasperated.

"Are you threatening an eleven year old?" He put an exxageratedly scared expression on his face. "I'm so scared of you and your fancy badge, please don't take me away!" He glared again as the boy reached out, grabbing the back of his collar and pulling. Tony planted his feet and leaned backwards, but he was losing ground, fast. Soon, he was being quite literally dragged across the room.

"Are you going to be like this all the way back to the Slytherin table?" The boy looked almost as amused as he was angry.

"How are you going to stop me from just running back to the Ravenclaw table once we sit down? You can only pull me back so many times."

"Magic." The kid responded, as though that were a perfectly acceptable explanation. And oh yeah, it was. Stupid magic. Tony didn't know what to say, but luckily they were interrupted by a loud voice before he had to respond.

"Mallard, let the first year go," The pressure released, causing Tony to tumble forward onto the ground. His shoulder hit hard and he bit his lip before standing up in a dignified manner and looking for the source of the voice. He didn't have to look far before he saw a very average middle aged adult speaking with the older boy, Mallard. "I'll handle it from here. Stark, come with me."

Why did nobody take into account how short eleven year old legs were when they walked? It's not like he could control how tall he was, why did he always have to run to keep up? He jogged a few steps, catching back up to the teacher. He liked to make a point of always walking beside people and never behind them. His dad said it made him look powerful.

"Excuse me sir?' Tony chimed. The situation hadn't really been his fault, so playing innocent would be his best bet. He decided to go for confused, after all, they hadn't exactly explained much. "What's going on? What's your name? Why was that boy so mad at me? Why can't I sit with Bruce and Pepper?" He stared up at the teacher, eyes as big as he could manage. The teacher looked concerned. Perfect.

"Look, Tony, you haven't exactly made the best impression today. I know it wasn't all your fault, but don't try to act like you didn't know exactly what you were doing. You're a bright kid, we know that, but if you're going to go to school here you need to respect our traditions." The adult stalled, waiting for Tony to answer him.

"Traditions are different than rules." Tony mumbled, staring at the floor for a few seconds before looking up to secure eye contact. "I'll follow you're rules," He stood ramrod straight, focused on channeling the confident air that always surrounded his father. "but Starks don't pause for tradition."

The man stared back, eyebrows creased, before he finally responded.

"Well then Tony, I guess we don't have anything left to discuss. If you ever need anything, I'm Professor Coulson." With that, the man turned and walked back into the great hall. Tony paused and took in a few deep breaths before he followed, and walked right back over to his spot at the blue table.


	4. Chapter 4

If you ignored the muggleborn thing, Tony completely understood why he was a Slytherin. The more he talked to the people at the Ravenclaw table, the more he understood that the sorting hat was completely right. That didn't change the fact that he got along with his current company much better than those he really belonged with, although that made perfect sense. After all, it's not as though Tony would get along with himself. If he were in a room with a perfect copy of himself—a clone—they wouldn't agree on anything, which is insane, because they're the same person. They would show off, argue, mope when they lacked to impress each other, and eventually lash out as a last ditch effort to make a durable impression. When none of this worked, they would storm out of the room and proclaim the other an idiot, wanting nothing but to never see them again. His time would then be spent on angry-sad tinkering with something extremely impressive in an effort to remind himself that yes, he is a genius.

Being a genius, Tony was able to be a large presence in discussions at the Ravenclaw table. Much of this conversation was spent informing Bruce, Pepper, and him of the intricacies of the magical world. They covered politics first (The current Minister of Magic –Justin Hammer—was screwing everything up). General knowledge came next (There was an entire music scene muggles didn't know about. Jane was going to catch them up on it) Then the topic shifted to history (mainly they discussed historical figures, ones who had made interesting discoveries and what not.) Before Tony knew it, the food had disappeared and Headmaster Fury (He'd been informed of the man's name by Jane) was standing to address them.

"Before we wrap up the feast and send you all to the common rooms," he boomed. I'd like to make a few announcements. First, I'd like to inform you that in addition to the forbidden forest, this year the third floor corridor will also be off limits." Tony wondered what would be off limits in a magic school. "Students found breaking these rules or any others will lose points for their house. The house with the most points at the end of the year will be awarded the house cup." Tony decided right then to make sure that Slytherin would never win that cup as long as he was there. "Now, please follow your house prefects, they will lead you to your common rooms. This is where you will be sleeping and spending much of your free time." With that, Headmaster Fury sat down, allowing the students to be corralled away.

"Bye Pep, bye Bruce!" Tony yelled, heading towards the green crowd. "Good to meet you Jane!" As he walked away he heard Pepper say "Is it just me, or did he leave a little _too_ easily." He shook his head. Pepper new him too well. As he headed towards the green mass, he let his foot catch on someone else's –A tall boy with brown hair—sending them both down onto the ground along with some dishes from the table.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to!" He tried to look upset and intimidated. As the other student helped him clean up, he swiped the scarf they had left on their seat and tucked it quickly beneath his robe. Once they had the dishes (which magically didn't break) back on the table, he apologized again and ran out the door after the quickly disappearing green mob. Once out the doors though, he inconspicuously loitered, twisting the scarf around his neck to hide his green tie and waited for the Ravenclaw group to come out the doors. When the group did emerge, he nonchalantly inserted himself, and weaved through the crowd until he found Pepper, Jane, and Bruce. Bruce, was awkwardly conversing with a student he didn't recognize, so he sauntered up to stand next to Pepper.

"Hey guys. Ready to see the common room?" The four students stared.

"Tony, what are you _doing_?" Pepper hushed. Her face was incredulous. He didn't respond though, she'd known him long enough to know exactly what he was doing. "You can't do this, how are you going to find your common room? What if you can't get into ours? What if somebody notices?"

"Pep, you worry too much." Her face still didn't look swayed. "I want to see your common room, that's not a bad thing, is it?" Pepper sighed.

"Tony, you're a Slytherin. You can't just pretend you're a Ravenclaw."

"Wow Pepper, I never pegged you for a racist." Pepper opened her mouth to speak, but Tony interrupted. "Alright, maybe you're not a _racist_, more like a classist. Pepper, stop being such a classist.

"I'm not being a _classist_ Tony. I'm stating a fact. You're a Slytherin, and right now, the Slytherins are going to _their_ common room. It's not that I don't want you in the common room, or that I feel any different about you because you're a Slytherin, it just means we'll have different schedules, so we might have to hang out less. It _also_ means, you're not allowed in the Ravenclaw common room. Besides, if you come to our common room now, how are you going to find _your_ common room?" She cast an expectant look in his direction, he raised his eyebrows.

"Pepper, I'll be in a room full of the smartest students in the school, I'm sure one of them will know how to get to the Slytherin common room."

"_Tony._"

"_Pepper._"

"First years, listen up!" Tony looked up to see Jessica leading the crowd. "The Entrance to the Ravenclaw common room is on the fifth floor, you'll want to follow me, it's easy to get lost. Just a warning, the staircases _do_ move, and for some reason, the staff never hands out maps. We're going to go up this way, watch the third step; it'll catch your foot. I'm Jessica if you didn't catch that already. Yes, the portraits talk."

Tony followed Jessica, taking care to stay somewhere between the center and the outskirts of the group. He was short, so that leant him some natural camouflage. He made a mental note of the exact route they took, knowing it would be useful for navigating by himself later.

"Besides Pep, the Slytherins already left." He motioned down the staircase, in the general direction he'd last seen the bunch. "I'd have to ask a Ravenclaw to show me to the common room. You wouldn't want me to be an inconvenience, would you?"

"You're already an inconvenience Tony" Pepper chided, but he could see that she was smiling.

"We're almost to the entrance of Ravenclaw tower. For those of you who don't know how to find it again, this is the fifth floor." Jessica announced. "The door is right over here."

Tony followed the crowd up to a door with no handle, simply a bronze knocker shaped like an eagle.

"The other houses require a password to enter, but Ravenclaw works a little differently. To get in, you have to answer a riddle."

With that, a polite voice rang out from the knocker.

"When is 99 more than 100?" It inquired.

"Well?" Jessica tested, "Why doesn't a first year answer?" She looked around expectantly. Tony shot a look at Pepper, one that he hoped meant "I know the answer what do I do?" Pepper glared at him in return. What was that supposed to mean? Answer it? Don't answer it? He tried to make eye contact with her again, but she was deep in thought. It was an awkwardly long silence now, the first years needed to get an answer soon. Whatever, he'd just answer it.

"A microwave." He declared. Everyone stared. "If you put in 99, it'll cook for a minute and 39 seconds, but if you put in 100, it'll only go for a minute." More blank stares. "It's a muggle thing."

"The answer is correct." Rang the voice, and the door swung open on its hinges, but unfortunately, everyone was still staring. Tony stared back. After a moment, Jessica broke the silence.

"Jarvis?" she asked.

"Yes Miss Bement?" the knocker responded

"Maybe we should use a password from now on."

"Noted Miss Bement, the new password is prithee."

"Jarvis, it doesn't work if you just tell us the password now." The door swung shut.

"Password set. To enter, please provide the password." Tony could almost hear the voice smirking. Jessica was smiling too.

"Fine Jarvis, keep the riddle." She relented.

"Yes ma'am." The voice responded, reopening the door, Tony followed the others into a large, open feeling room decorated in blue and bronze. There were tables and chairs scattered around the room, as well as several bookcases, and a large statue of a lady he recognized as Rowena Ravenclaw. Due to the circular nature of the tower, you could see all of the school grounds from the windows that ran the course of the walls.

"This is where we spend most of our time. Most of us will probably stay out here a little longer, but if you're wanting to go to bed, the dormitories are up those stairs by the statue. Girls on the left, boys are to the right. Tony saw Pepper and Jane go towards the stairs. Bruce made eye contact with Tony before following the other first year boy there as well, not wanting to be left out. Tony would follow in a minute, he had something else to take care of first. Scanning the room, he found a head of brown hair in the corning with a few other students. They all looked older than him, third or fourth years by his guess. Tony casually removed his scarf and walked over to them, holding out the fabric.

"Sorry I swiped this." He offered. The boy took the scarf back, grinning.

"No problem, Tony, right?" Tony nodded. "I've never seen anybody pull a stunt like that, especially not here in Ravenclaw. I'm Travis by the way, and this is Earl, and Kelly. He motioned to the blond boy and the raven haired girl next to him. You'll need somebody to take you to your common room right?" he asked, motioning to Tony's green tie.

"I guess, but I'd much rather stay here." Tony mused. "I doubt the Slytherins will give me a hero's welcome." Travis stood up and clapped Tony's shoulder, pulling him over to Jessica.

"Hey Jess," he called, "it's after curfew, and Tony is still in our common room."

"Curfew?" Tony interrupted. "Nobody said anything about a curfew."

"That's because your prefect is supposed to fill you in on the rules." Jessica responded. "I'm filling in the first years tomorrow before breakfast, I figured they'd want some sleep."

"That's all good and well, but it doesn't change the fact that someone is going to need to escort the lost first year back to his common room." Earl replied. "I'd like the honor."

"You _want_ to sneak Tony to the Slytherin common room?" Jessica jibed. "Be my guest." Earl grinned, beckoning Tony towards the door.


	5. Chapter 5

"The Slytherin common room is in the dungeon." Travis stated, glancing at Tony. "It'll take us a while to get down there, especially considering how likely it is that the teachers are still out. Most of them are probably still on the main floor so we'll need to be the most careful there. If you hear a teacher coming, hide. Got it?" Travis shot him an inquiring look, which Tony met with a smile and a nod. "Do you have all your stuff?"

"Uh, I actually don't know where my stuff is." Tony stammered, "It was all in my bags, and they told us to leave those on the train." Travis nodded.

"It should already be in your dormitory then. Which is where you should be too, just for the record." Travis sent an accusatory glare in his direction. "As funny as what you did is, I really should warn you not to make yourself a target -for students or teachers- this early in the school year. It's your first night, get some sleep, save your antics for when you know the castle. You'll get your schedule tomorrow, get some sleep tonight, okay?" Travis was expecting an answer, so Tony nodded, and his face immediately lightened, taking on an excited expression. "I guess we're off then."

"What happens if we get caught?" Tony questioned, evoking a grimace from the other other boy.

"We'd just better hope it's not Hill who finds us." Travis stated before turning to the door, beckoning for Tony to follow. He walked after the taller boy, exiting the room into the dark chamber outside. Tony closed the door behind him, eyes falling on the brass knocker.

"Bye Jarvis." He whispered, before walking after Travis's receding form.

Their travel was slow going, but quiet. It was almost pitch dark in the castle, a safety hazard, Tony thought, but then he remembered about magic. Headmaster a Fury could probably light all of the fixtures in the school with a flick of his wrist, and the argument could be made that because strictly speaking no one was supposed to be outside of their common rooms now, there was no real safety hazard at all. Tony grabbed on to Travis's robe so as not to lose him in the dark, but started to feel awkward and childish about it, so as they made it to the staircase, Tony let go. It wasn't as though he could get lost on a flight of stairs. He moved his newly emptied hand to hold on to the railway, guiding his steps. Travis moved quietly in front of him as he followed down one, two, three flights of stairs before running right into him.

"Shhhhh," whispered Travis. A real whisper too, Tony could barely hear it. "Do you hear that?" Tony listened, and after a few seconds he heard it too, footsteps coming down the stairway from above him. A teacher. Tony's eyes widened.

"Go!" Tony whispered back louder than he had intended, Travis turned around and hurried as quietly as he could to the bottom of the staircase, Tony right behind him. When they got towards the end, Travis skipped a step, Tony however, unfamiliar with the school and his dark surroundings, had not recognized the trick step Jessica had pointed out earlier, and his foot stuck right in, causing the rest of his body to lurch forward and down, his leg pulling painfully at an awkward angle and making far to much noise for comfort as his arms hit the steps below him.

"Tony?" Travis's voice echoed in the stairwell, nervousness showing in the volume of his attempted whisper. Tony pulled at his leg, trying to follow, but only managed to cause a spike of pain as his foot refused to budge.

"Go!" Tony hissed back violently, trying not to let the pain raise his voice as he pulled again. The pain was more intense this time as he braced his hands on the railing and used his other leg to push up, but he felt his leg move up an inch or two.

"but Tony, I can't just-"

"Just go!" Tony let his words out a little too loudly as he gave another tug on his leg.

"Who's down there?" A strong female voice came from up the stairwell, and Tony heard Travis's footsteps hesitate before heading off to the left and being overshadowed by the steadily louder sounding ones up the staircase. Bracing his leg, Tony pushed off the stairs again, tumbling down and rolling all over himself as his foot was pulled free. The footsteps quickened, not far away now, and Tony pulled himself up and ran left with his arms in front of him as fast as he could on his aching leg.

Tony made it through the doorway just as he heard a woman mutter "lumos." One more second and he'd have been toast. The hallway in front of him ran two ways, and Tony favored left again, ducking into the first room he saw, a classroom. He moved behind the teachers desk at the front, noticing the dust that coated it, he realized the classroom had long been abandoned. It hurt as he crouched on his leg, but he held his breath, not wanting to give away where he was. Soon, he heard the door creep open and saw the faint glow of light sweep across the floor. As the light grew closer, he crept around the desk as silently as he could, trying to stay on the opposite side as the adult without giving away his position.

After a moment of looking around the room, the adult with the light seemed satisfied, and walked out, closing the door behind them and leaving Tony to sigh with relief as he sat down and let the pressure off of his leg. His moment of rest was soon interrupted as a male voice rang out, causing him to jump back up.

"To whom do I owe the pleasure?" The voice questioned. There was a thick accent marking it, Austrian or German maybe, somewhere in that area. Tony pulled his wand out and lit the tip, looking around for the source of the voice, but seeing nothing in the room other than a few rows of desks and some bookshelves.

"I should be asking you the same thing," Tony said warily, "Where are you?"

"I'm right behind you." Said the voice, but this time Tony noticed something odd about it. It sounded almost, distorted. Like it was coming through a phone line with mediocre connection. Turning around, all Tony saw was the desk he had previously been crouched behind. He walked closer, wand up.

"Relax, it's not as if I can hurt you." The voice chuckled, and this time Tony was able to pinpoint where it originated. Walking over to the source, he picked up a radio. Tony smiled and let out a low whistle.

"You're a real antique, aren't you." Tony murmured, "I've never seen a radio so old. Well, not that I really see any radios nowadays, but you know what I mean. So are you a real person talking through a radio, or is this just how magic radios work?"

"I'm simply a radio, a well charmed one." The voice stuttered out."Although my subject reporting is mostly limited to that of the year of my release."

"What year was that?" Tony inquired, moving forward to pick the radio up in his hands.

"1942"

"Wow, you really are an antique." Tony responded. "So, are you based on a real person? I mean, you seem to have a personality."

"You could say that my personality is based on the one of the person who made this radio." Said the voice.

"So, should I call you by their name then? Or do you have a different name?" Tony asked, picking up the radio to wipe off the dust and examine it. It appeared to be a normal radio.

"You can call me Arnim." The voice responded. "What should I call you?"

"My name is Tony." He responded. "You're from the forties right? You ever heard of Howard Stark?"

"Yes Tony, I have" Arnim responded. "He was quite well known. Do you wish to know more about him?" Tony laughed.

"I think I already know as much as I want. I'm his son. Tony Stark" Tony responded, and the radio was silent for a moment.

"Well Tony Stark, It's good to meet you." The voice responded, still slightly muffled. "What are you doing in an abandoned classroom in the middle of the night?"

"Oh!" Tony gasped, remembering where he was. "I snuck into the Ravenclaw common room, but then I had to leave and my foot got caught in the step and I came in here to avoid a teacher. Travis was supposed to show me where the Slytherin common room was, because I'm technically supposed to be there, but it's my first day and since I went to the Ravenclaw room I don't know where it is. We got separated though, so I guess I'm lost now." Tony rambled, much to the amusement of Arnim if the chuckling was anything to go by. "By the way, what kind of name is Arnim? Is it German or is it just old?"

"It's old and German Tony." Arnim stated, "and if you need to be directed to the Slytherin common room, I can help you with that." Tony's eyebrows shot up at that.

"You know where the Slytherin common room is?" Tony said skeptically. "Why would a 1940's radio know that?"

There was a pause and the radio responded. "I previously belonged to a student in Slytherin. They are the one who created me by placing a spell on this radio." Tony nodded, accepting the response.

"Well then," he said, "I guess I've found myself a guide." The voice chuckled back in response.

"Yes Tony, I guess you have."


End file.
